in therapy my therapist and i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to, on a romantic and platonic level. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said “you named things that you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are” and y’all..my mind was blown that’s gonna stick with me forever like she then proceed to tell me actual innate qualities about myself that she liked and thought anyone else would like as well and i hadn’t even considered those because like she said i was focused on things i could do outwardly to attract and maintain connections rather than who i was as a person..goddamn!!! thats tea!!!
With this in mind, this also makes me think of the ways people describe us. When people say the reasons that they love/like you or describe you as a person, are they only naming ways that you serve them? Are they equating your worth with how much you do for them?
ex. “You’re such a good listener. You’re so generous, you’re so compassionate. You’re always there for me. You always hold me down. You’re reliable”
vs.
“You’re so funny! You’re very vibrant. You’re creative, passionate, and intelligent. You’re optimistic. You’re so talented at ____” , etc. I think that’s very telling.
But I get so irked at the Southern stereotype that we’re inbred?
Like, I’ve been alive 22 years and ain’t never heard of it actually happening. I knew no cousins or brothers and sisters hooking up, or nothing. And you know everyone in your hometown so if it happened, you woulda known.
cause….compared to the actual musical theatre kids….my boy can’t sing.. crowe can act the hell out of a Javert but dude if you can’t make stars sound like an effortless, almighty lullaby that a man of the law has sung to the midnight sky for a decade?? then like…. you aint Javert…….
but also he did not ruin the les mis movie….I mean ur telling me that one bruised egg ruined the fact that you got to watch those rebel boys build an actual barricade in real time ???? or watch huge jackman CRY to a crucifix for redemption ??
ur saying that one little not-amazing song RUINED THIS SHOT??
or THIS series of EMOTIONS where my other boy sums up the character of Enjolras IN ONE SHOTTTTTT
OR THAT F U CKING TRANSITION BETWEEN STARS AND 1832??? WHERE WE GO OVER THE C ROSS AND INTO THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY AND AGE WHERE EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT YET NOTHING HAS CHANGEDDDDD
look i grew up with the stage musical and listening to philip quast and i think having a good javert is super important. russel isnt the greatest javert but i’m not gonna let that ruin the face that we got a f u c k i n g HQ musical movie where courfeyrac’s name was spoken outloud several timeessss
i literally could go on and on, but the point is my dude, dont let the haters get you down. like what you like
The kids’ response to the shooting has been something truly incredible.
Normally, it’s always been very young children and it’s only their parents that can speak about it. The narrative gets controlled, the conspiracy theorists talk about how it’s all an act, so much bullshit.
But these are kids who are active on social media, incredibly close to voting age, and they’re demanding their voices are heard. Every single thing that downplays, dismisses or conspiracies the shooting has been subverted by their efforts, and they’re not letting adults who’ve never lived what they lived through control the narrative.
“It was a conspiracy!” “No, we have video evidence of it happening.” “Shouldn’t you be calling 911 instead of making videos?” “We called 911 so many times they told us to stop.” “But he was a troubled child!” “We were ALL troubled, that’s no excuse.” And it just goes on like this.
Honestly, I’m so proud of my fellow Floridians.
I said to my husband the other day that “This one feels different”, referring to this precisely.
The whole energy around it feels different. These kids are not having this bullshit, and while they should not have to stand their ground and fight this battle, goddamn it they are going to. If the adults won’t, then goddamn it these kids will draw a fucking line and say ‘no, no more, this is bullshit’.
I don’t know what it means, or how it will play out long term. But there’s a sense around this whole tragedy that this one is different, and I hope, maybe, that means some actual change will come.
People compare this to Sandy Hook and talk about how different the reactions have been because they’re teenagers and not six and seven year olds. And I think it’s easy for people to miss that these teenagers, they’re peers of the children killed in Sandy Hook. They’re the same age (give or take a year or so) as the children who survived Sandy Hook.
They watched that tragedy as children of the same age. And then watched as absolutely nothing changed. This has happened over and over and now it’s happened to them. And they are rightfully angry, except unlike their peers at Sandy Hook, they are old enough now to have the words and the knowledge and the means to speak out. And they’re not just speaking out, they’re screaming so they aren’t overheard.
This is what happens when a generation is brought up watching tragedy after tragedy, and have known since they were six, seven, eight years old that their lives are worthless to politicians. They aren’t going to sit back and let this be forgotten.
Borne Ceaseless 