every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself
so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead
now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here
the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family
eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again
I’ll tell you what’s ferocious. Freddie’s comeback to Sid calling him “Freddie Platinum” when they were recording down the hall from each other at London’s Wessex Studios (Queen for News of the World, Pistols for Bollocks).
Sid Vicious made the mistake one day of bursting into Queen’s control room and antagonizing their frontman. “Have you succeeded in bringing ballet to the masses, then?” he sneered. “Oh, yes, Simon Ferocious,” Mercury replied. “We’re trying our best, dear.”
Then, according to Queen biographer Daniel Nester, Freddie rose from his chair and began to playfully flick the safety pins displayed on the front of Sid’s leather jacket. “Tell me,” he asked, “did you arrange these pins just so?” When Sid stepped forward in an attempt to intimidate Freddie, the singer simply pushed him backwards and inquired, “What are you going to do about it?” Sid immediately backed down. [x]
Freddie Mercury may very well have had the biggest dick energy of anyone who ever lived
It’s come to my attention that I have not yet made a post
about Farmer’s Market Hot™.
Farmer’s Market Hot is a specific kind of aesthetic that is
the result of me watching Orphan’s Black and trying to describe the hotness of
Cal to others.
See my point?
Farmer’s Market Hot is a wholesome kind of hot. Rugged but approachable.
It’s not the kind of hot where you immediately go, “Oh my god they’re so
perfect, I want to take them home and photograph them/tear their clothes off.” That’s
for later.
This is the kind of hot for people who would visit the farmer’s
market to buy some organic cheeses on their way to pick up their kids from
their Creativity Through Music class. It’s the look that says “I’m here to
support our local beekeepers.” You see them and it makes you want to settle down.
You want to do your taxes with them, raise dogs together.
It’s borderline hipster without the elitism and irony,
borderline country without the sound of Tim McGraw. If they’re white, racist
shit like dreads automatically disqualifies them.
Guys will most likely be stubbly, or bearded, but not to the
point of lumberjack. Think Chris Evans in between Marvel movies.
Pictured: a man who wants to buy artisan bread from a stall
and be polite to the merchants.
Imagine a woman with a sunflower tattoo, wearing a high-low
dress and clunky dependable boots, holding a dog’s leash while she waits at the
knife sharpening booth. Imagine a man wearing flannel and holding a baby while
talking about ethical alternatives to quinoa.
Farmer’s Market Hot™.
Add this to your vocabulary.
It’s that time of the year again, so I felt the need to bring this back.
One of the reasons I feel so comfortable using Tumblr over other social media is because this site is clearly too incompetent to be evil.
The basic business model of a social network is to harvest commercially valuable personal data and sell it, most famously via targeted ads. Anyone visiting my blog can clearly see that I am a queer furry who’s into video games and art. And yet I am only served ads for funeral homes, Bible story DVDs, and the current president’s reelection campaign (in 2018 for some reason)
Needless to say my click through rate has not been very good
Me: Runs a blog dedicated to dungeons and dragons and anime Tumblr: You know what, you strike me as a sporty type
I’m a social media manager for my day job and Tumblr is literally the only social media platform I can relax on anymore because it’s so incompetent when it comes to exploiting my personal data.
Borne Ceaseless 